The Glamour Commander

It was afternoon and I was 15 years-old. I sat on a tan brown loveseat with my girlfriend Jenee at my mother’s house. Not quite sure about how eccentric my ensemble was, but it had my mother and I in a verbal match. She sat across from me. “This is who I am!”, I exclaimed. “This is the way I choose to express myself.”

My mom didn’t understand. Neither did my BFF.

I did a lot of style experimenting in college. I arrived home from school once in boyfriend jeans (not really in style at the time), boxers, DC sneakers and a white v-neck. I was going through a skatergirl phase. I adored urban menswear at the time and Pharrell Williams’ style of course.

My best friend hated that look! She looked at me like I was crazy and could not understand why I wanted to look like a boy.

A few blue lipsticks and thigh high socks later, nothing changed. I still received stares and thumbs down (lol) from my family, peers and strangers alike. I felt insecure knowing that I didn’t have approval from those who were close to me. I wanted to be so many things to too many people and ended up all over the place. No matter what I wore, there were always dislikes.

When I turned 21, I felt something take over me. I became a woman. I no longer needed approval and from others to be me. Whatever someone liked or dislike was them expressing their opinion…and that was alright with me. I was unapologetic with my experiments with beauty and fashion. Things finally felt good.

My style is influenced by music, my mood, where I came from and where I wish to go. It is inspired by my adolescent years and the journey we take to self-discovery. I bought magazines and drooled over Proenza Schouler skirts and Roberto Cavalli animal print pants. There has always been something about fashion that pulled me in. It  is an organic part of my being.

I may be private and not so forthcoming with my thoughts and feelings all the time but…if you ever want to really know about me just watch what I wear. It will tell the story and stop you from trying to decipher my Facebook statuses.

Sidebar: My mom and :BFF are not in my life to like or agree with everything that I do and I’m grateful for them both. This isn’t about them or their thoughts. It’s about being able to take critisism without being offended or compromising who you are. 

Key Points in Releasing Your Personal Style

-Realize that you were put on this earth to make yourself happy.

-Let go of society’s norms and how you SHOULD look.

-Wear clothing that fits! Don’t get hung up on number sizes. I have size 4′s and 10′s in my closet and I can fit them both. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone in clothes that are too small.

-Be the best that you can be. If you are a Cali Hippie, be the best Cali Hippie that you can be. Find the hottest brands and designers for your look and embrace them.

-If it doesn’t feel right then it probably doesn’t look right. Let your conscience be your guide.

-Find a style icon. Contrary to popular belief, everyone has a style icon or someone that they admire that has influenced their style. Although there is no need to copy, look to see what worked for them. If they share your same style or body type or wear the same brands/designers that you like you can draw inspiration or the courage to take a chance!

-When bored or facing a lifestyle change, re-invent yourself.

-The more original your style the more attention you will get. No one goes in corporate buildings and takes pictures of how boring some man looks in his Dockers. The originators get the most feedback (positive and negative). Figure out if this is something that you can handle. If not play it safe.

Kisses xoxo,

The Glamour Commander